Making a bridesmaid decision will be one of the first big choices in the wedding planning process. With friends and family assuming that they will be a part of the wedding party, you need to be considerate of other’s feelings. It may be YOUR big day, but people can start to resent you when you decide on your crew. Choosing your wedding entourage does not need to be a nightmare.
Here are a few helpful tips on making your decision:
Start by writing down a list of people you would like to see in your wedding party. After deciding on the list of perspective attendants, write down what each girl/guy’s (hey, it’s the 21st Century!) responsibilities will be to narrow down the list. The MOH may be your right hand girl, but the rest of your posse matters just as much. Your cousin might be better at keeping you calm when you hear the ice sculpture is already melting. Your sister may not want to have all the pressure as MOH. Is there someone that does better running the show than wearing heels? This list is a great way to sort out all of the millions of thoughts going on in your bride brain.
After the list is done, run it by your future spouse. Now, it is not necessary to have equal sides standing up for you, but you might want to make sure your maids correspond with his men. We ended up switching our lineup because we were hoping to introduce two of our attendants during the wedding week. (Yes, we tried to create a love match… and no, it did not work out.)
Another great tip is to remember that it is not mandatory to ask someone to be in your wedding party if you stood up for them. Asking people you may not speak to anymore will cause more stress than you ever need. It may hurt their feelings, but you need to be happy with who stands up for you. No one wants to look at wedding pictures 50 years later and not remember who that last bridesmaid on the left was.
Finally, do not feel the need to please everyone. Do what your gut tells you. You probably will annoy people, but they will eventually get over it. If they don’t, they might not be as important in your life as you once thought. People who unconditionally love you will just want you to be happy and have the best day possible.
Having a flawless wedding party is just as important as any other detail in the wedding. It may be incredibly stressful to choose the final number, but when you look back on your wedding photos and see people you love, still talk to, and smile, all the legwork will be totally worth it.