Tips and Tricks on the Makings of a Good Mother-of-the-Groom Speech

Last summer, my brother tied the knot and I heard the BEST mother of the groom speech. As a wedding photographer, I’ve heard MANY speeches. Thank god, I’ve never had to give one myself because the thought of writing one gives me the heeby jeebies. After hearing my moms funny/tear jerking/passionate/captivating mother of the groom toast, I knew she needed to pass out her tricks to everyone on my blog. So brides & grooms, feel free to send this link to your mamas. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it! <3

lairmont manor wedding

Tips and Tricks on the Makings of a Good Mother-of-the-Groom Speech

1.  Time is crucial; keep it to about 5 minutes.

2.  Keep the structure of your speech focused and don't lose it.

a.  Introduction - voicing appreciation for your guests celebrating the newlyweds, etc.

b.  Best part - words about your son.  This should take 2 minutes max.  Spend thought and time planning just the right words to say about your son.

c.  Money in the bank - sweet words about the bride; equal time - 2 minutes. : )   If you for some reason, can't think of enough good things to say about the bride - then move on to speaking of the couple.  Generally, when speaking about the couple, you need to focus on the story. While you are talking about their story, you should focus on saying how important it was for these lovebirds to meet and join destinies. It is almost certain that all family members and other guests will be looking forward to hear your short version of how your son met his bride and how they ended up taking their relationship to the ultimate level.

d. Use quotes (salient or otherwise).

e. Close the structure of the speech with a toast.

3.  Practice your speech.  I started a month ahead of time and recorded it into my smart phone recorder. Then on my lunch time walks I practiced and memorizing it.  I practiced on my husband, girlfriends and other family members.

4.  When you deliver your speech, force yourself to pause throughout your speech while looking slowly around at the attendees and show your joy (the easy part : )

Her toast from my brothers wedding at lairmont manor.

Anyone who knows Kris, knows he is a journaler.  For years he has been doing “Morning Pages”, filling countless moleskin books with his thoughts, dreams and visions.  He is my philosopher-son.  It shows in his music, how he lives his life, and how he treats people – in a deep & thoughtful way.  When you are with him, you know he sees you – by the depth of his gaze and thoughtful presence.  This is one of Kris many gifts.  People are important to Kris and he prioritizes his time with them.

The written word is powerful to Kris – as well as journaling & writing music, he has also always been a list-maker.  Before smart phones, Kris’ spaces and places were littered with scraps of paper with lists of…

• things he wanted to accomplish that day

• future ideas he wanted to implement

• people he needed to connect with

Part of this practice was born from a family trait of forgetfulness… but also as a mother I preached the belief that “Your Word is Your Wand” – what you speak, you bring about – and the written word is timeless and not so easily forgotten : )

And so, it’s not surprising in February of 2003 that Kris shared a list with me… “What I want in the girl I marry.”

• I want someone who is willing to work through any problem and make good decisions on what is right and wrong.  Someone who is willing to compromise, see it from the other person’s view & look at the big picture.

• The woman I marry must not only be caring, but kind.  This woman should be someone who cares about others and when it comes down to it, is respectful of my decisions and way of doing things.  This person can still be a character, but underneath has that sincerity that makes me love her.

• I will marry a girl that has attitude and spunk.  The girl I marry will be sassy and fun.  I want to marry someone who knows how to have a good time or be a home body.  This person will be as versatile as me in that department and will do what she wants and feel confident about it, while respecting my intentions and feelings.

• I want to marry a person who is intelligent.  I don’t mean just book smarts, but emotionally and socially intelligent.  I know that when I talk to this person or have a question about something, that between the two of us we can come up with an answer.  Someone who knows enough about herself and the world, that she has great advice and is there when I need a shoulder to cry on.  Someone I can talk about anything with (like Matt dogg).

• I will marry the girl that makes you double take or catches your attention in a room for a split second.  Her overall persona is that of a confident woman who walks into a room knowing what is going to happen, what she wants and how to get there.  Confidence is key in the girl I pursue.  With this confidence she will have a sense of style that shows her confidence.  The way she dresses, walks and acts creates that persona adding to who she is and what she stands for.

• I will marry a woman that takes my breath away, with chemistry and wit.  When I am around her I feel that pull, that passion, creating even more appreciation for how incredible she is.  I will marry a woman with gorgeous eyes and soft lips.  I will marry a woman that cares about how she looks but doesn’t obsess over it.  I will marry a woman that is beautiful on the inside and outside.

When I look into this person’s eyes, I will feel like I have succeeded and am ready to take the next step in my life.  This person I will do anything for.

Wow - Your word is your wand indeed - Word made flesh?

Alex, you are the woman Kris has been waiting for.  We love you and are so thankful that you also chose Kris.

Let’s raise a toast to Kris and Alex and send them for forth with our blessing to make more magic."

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